Content warning: This story contains references to suicide. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide and needs support now, call or text 988 or chat with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988lifeline.org.
Joe Pyfer claims he stepped into UFC Seattle’s main event as a completely different man from the one who entered the Octagon last October. And had it not been for overcoming some severe mental hurdles, Pyfer is adamant he wouldn’t have scored a career-changing win over former two-time middleweight champion Israel Adesanya.
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As fight night neared for UFC Seattle, much of the usual boisterousness and confidence was noticeably absent from the Philadelphian. Pyfer, 29, expanded on why in his post-fight speech Saturday, revealing that he contemplated suicide in February. Appearing Monday on “The Ariel Helwani Show,” Pyfer further detailed his troubled mental state ahead of the fight. According to the middleweight contender, he was “seconds away” from attempting to take his life in mid-February until something spoke to him.
“I had a calling in my head. I felt like that’s not what I wanted to do, but I was trying to escape again, like I’ve always done, which is run away from pain and trying to bury it in something,” Pyfer told Uncrowned. “For once, I finally faced it, and I just cried out and asked God to save me and bring me to him and trust in him. It’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done, because quitting is easy. I know there’s a lot of things that come with proclaiming your faith to the world, and I’m OK with that.
“At the end of the day, I have a very clear understanding of what matters to me in my life and what I’m supposed to do now. I see very, very clear the path that I’m on, and yeah, it was a matter of seconds [before I attempted suicide], and that prayer is what saved me. Last-ditch effort.”
Pyfer’s struggles came entirely outside the Octagon, as his second-round stoppage of Adesanya extended his current UFC win streak to four straight.
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Ultimately, Pyfer stated that some of his personal choices within his relationship are what led to his mental breakthrough as he seeks to salvage what he has with his longtime partner.
“February 7 was a very dark day for me, but it was also one of the most rewarding things that happened in my life — it just took a little time to see,” Pyfer said. “I struggled with some mental health stuff and contemplated my life and things like that, just from the mistakes I made. I’m ashamed to say it, honestly, but it’s a part of what happened.
“I feel like God came to me in a dream and gave me an out-of-body experience where I could see who I was, and I was disgusted. Then I was able to say what I really wanted and who I wanted to be — that my soul was still pure, my love was still real. And then I was able to see my girlfriend, now of six-plus years, as the mother of my two children — something I’ve always kind of been on the fence with having. I couldn’t see their faces, but I could see hers. It was a very powerful moment. I was drowning, and I felt like I saw Jesus’ hand. I took it, I woke up, and I felt like my entire life just transformed.”
Having emerged as one of the more successful stories to come out of Dana White’s Contender Series in recent years, Pyfer said he no longer views his career’s rise in the same manner he used to.
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What was once a famous quote from White — “Be Joe Pyfer” — now holds a negative connotation in Pyfer’s mind.
“I couldn’t even tell you how I said most of the things I said in the past, or felt the way I felt in the past. It’s almost like that person died,” Pyfer said.
Despite Pyfer’s many reflections in the past several months, he’s focused on basking in his latest triumph without looking too much into the future.
The Adesanya win was impressive, but it wasn’t an easy effort for “Bodybagz.” Round 1 was highly competitive and Adesanya looked sharp as usual. But Pyfer began to find more of his footing in the second round, pressuring Adesanya and employing his grappling to overwhelm the all-time great.
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That being said, Pyfer hasn’t been pleased with the community’s reactions to his win, as he’s seen more about Adesanya’s four-fight losing streak than about his work to score an upset in UFC Seattle’s main event.
“I think people are being really hard on him,” Pyfer said. “It’s really upsetting to see all the comments. That’s part of why I’m not super excited — one man’s victory is another man’s suffering. I know Izzy’s set for life, but all the people that are saying negative stuff about him — ‘this guy should just retire,’ this and that — the guy had a competitive fight with me. I’m 29 years old. I’m young, one of the hardest hitters in the division. I’m not a small guy; I’m a very powerful dude. He did very well. He looked good, he looked hungry. He looked like he wanted to be there.
Joe Pyfer (right) has put together serious momentum in the middleweight division.
(Jeff Bottari via Getty Images)
“When you’re fighting at this level, anybody can win. I’m more or less not on the high because, one, my faith keeps me here, so I never make something bigger than God or anything like that, but at the same time, I’m not going to sit here and be like, ‘Yeah, man!'”
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For his next time out, Pyfer can likely expect a pivotal contender clash with a highly-ranked number next to his name within the middleweight pecking order.
Yet while Pyfer is happy about the win, it also feels somewhat bittersweet in the immediate aftermath.
“Listen, I’m very happy. I beat one of the greatest people of all time in my division,” Pyfer said. “That’s great. That’s awesome. But at the same time, we got everybody ripping Izzy, saying, ‘This dude lost to a no-name,’ and this and that. It’s like I’m not even getting praises or respect for what I just did, and people are still attacking the guy. I just feel like you guys don’t understand that this dude was one of the best of all time. He’s still competing at the highest level. The only guys he lost to before me were the top guys in the top five.
“So, give the guy some grace. He’s got other endeavors than just fighting. It’s really rubbing me the wrong way, and it’s just sad, man. I wish the fans would show more love than they do hate.”
