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Purple Row After Dark: Bananas for the Rockies

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Purple Row After Dark: Bananas for the Rockies

My kids put up with me watching the Rockies all summer, which is a bigger act of patience than I probably give them credit for. But when Banana Ball is on, they are not just tolerating baseball. They genuinely love it.

And I get it. Banana Ball is absurd. That is the whole point. The rules are built for pace, chaos, fan involvement, and the kind of baseball-adjacent weirdness that asks traditionalists to meet it halfway. This made me wonder: If the Rockies could adopt one Banana Ball rule to use at Coors, which one would you choose?

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Purple Row already took one pass at the idea last season when the Bananas came through town, looking at what the Rockies’ record would have been under Banana Ball scoring rules.

But what other absurd rules could help Coors Field feel unfair again?

The fan in me wants Rule 8: If a fan catches a foul ball, it’s an out.

At Coors Field, that would be tremendous. Suddenly, every foul ball has real stakes. We have already seen a Rockies fan make a catch while holding a baby and another make a full-extension grab after a massive bounce. The second one would not count as an out under Banana Ball rules, but that is exactly the kind of effort I would expect from the Coors Field faithful.

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It would be chaotic, unfair, deeply silly, and probably a lot of fun.

But if we’re talking about a rule that might actually help the Rockies, Rule 5: Batters can steal first might be the answer.

The Rockies already have speed, ranking 10th in baseball in stolen bases despite sitting just 24th in on-base percentage. That tells a pretty simple story: When they get runners on, they can create pressure. The bigger problem is getting enough runners on in the first place.

That is where stealing first becomes interesting. In Banana Ball, a hitter can try to take first base on any pitch of an at-bat. It is not exactly a stable offensive plan, and every two-strike take turning into a footrace would probably get old quickly. Still, for a Rockies team that needs more ways to turn athleticism into baserunners, it would at least fit the roster’s shape.

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There are other options, too. No mound visits. A two-hour time limit. No stepping out. A showdown tiebreaker. The Golden Batter rule is tempting, but I’m not sure who the Rockies would anoint with that title.

So what’s your pick?

Which Banana Ball rule would be the most fun at Coors Field?

And which one would actually help the Rockies?

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