Anyone still got their hackles up about Arch Manning’s eyeglasses? Doesn’t seem like it.
Doesn’t seem like there’s all that much attention — or pressure — on Texas, its coach or its quarterback, period. Not compared to this time last year, anyway.
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On the day the Lane Kiffin carnival rolled into SEC media days, Mr. Vanity Fair magnetized the spotlight, even as he filibustered with a meandering opening statement that sucked up most of his time on the main stage.
“We’re all going to die,” Kiffin told reporters, amid an only-Lane-would-offer answer to a question that had nothing to do with the prospect of immortality.
Cue the chyron.
Kiffin: Everyone dies.
Pithy.
Texas football coach Steve Sarkisian speaks to the press during SEC media days at the Tampa Marriott.
Consider this diversion of attention ideal for Steve Sarkisian. Let Kiffin act as a heat shield for Sark. Let the pundits forget about Texas and dissect LSU and Lane’s musings.
Kiffin and Sarkisian have long been buddies, but, now, Lane must be Sark’s best friend.
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The brigade of looky-loos that obsessed over Texas and Manning’s Warby Parkers last season turn their gaze to Kiffin.
Let the TV bobbleheads debate whether Kiffin or Alabama’s Kalen DeBoer faces more pressure. (Answer: Sarkisian should face as much or more pressure than either.)
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Texas football roster is ‘stacked,’ even as spotlight shifts to Lane Kiffin
Sark’s got a roster as good as anyone’s, just as he did last year, when he lost three games.
“I’m not gonna lie, we’re stacked,” Texas defensive end Colin Simmons said at media days.
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It’s true.
They were stacked in 2025, too, when they got smacked by Florida — and smacked six weeks later by Georgia. In between, they nearly lost to Mississippi State and Kentucky.
Along the journey to 10-3, one sports columnist lost his ever-loving mind over Manning’s eyewear, and the New York Times absurdly made Manning out to be the first flop in college football history.
Forget North Carolina and Belichick’s muse, “Hard Knocks” should’ve aspired to document the roller coaster that was the 2025 Longhorns.
Sarkisian fanned the flames and blamed Texas’ playoff omission on the selection committee. Never mind Texas lost to a team that lost to South Florida and became the first preseason No. 1 team in the US LBM coaches poll to finish outside the top 10 since 2012 LSU.
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After all that, Stephen A. Smith wants DeBoer fired — the Alabama coach with the $70-plus million buyout who at least played for the SEC championship and won a playoff game last season, while Sarkisian enjoyed ample time to work up a basket-weaving hot take.
The point here isn’t to say Sarkisian is or should be on the hot seat. He isn’t, and he shouldn’t be. He’s a top-10 coach who took Texas from the doldrums to the playoff semifinals (twice). It’s conceivable last season will become a forgivable hiccup en route to a national title, even if Texas is unlikely to repeat as preseason No. 1, thanks to last year’s fizzle.
“The expectations are a lot higher in our building than they are on the outside,” Sarkisian told reporters at media days.
I’m not sure how to interpret that. Is he saying his team expects nothing but the best from this season, or that the armchair gurus have lost sight of Texas while they speculate whether Lane will ever tweet again? (Spoiler alert: He will.)
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Steve Sarkisian still has Texas pointed up
At Texas, two things can be true: The Longhorns underachieved in 2025. Also, it’s not a five-alarm fire. Sark’s still on schedule.
Thanks to Curt Cignetti’s flash-fried success, it’s easy to forget Kirby Smart and Ryan Day each needed six seasons to supply a national championship.
Well, looky here, Sarkisian’s entering Year 6, with another ballyhooed roster funded by Bevo’s benevolent war chest.
I don’t want to say it’s championship-or-bust expectations for Sarkisian, but I’ll say an also-ran season that ends anytime before MLK Day wouldn’t be much cause for celebration.
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Because, they’re stacked.
It’s easy to miss that, as we fixate on Kiffin’s reminder that we’ll all die!
When you consider that, Manning’s eyewear doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.
A little extra summertime attention on Lane might look good on Texas.
Sure, we’re all going to die — thanks for the refresher, Lane — but perhaps not before Sarkisian and Manning deliver glory to Texas.
Blake Toppmeyer is the USA TODAY Network’s senior national college football columnist. Email him at BToppmeyer@gannett.com and follow him on X @btoppmeyer.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: ‘We’re all going to die.’ OK, but can Arch Manning, Texas redeem themselves in CFP first?
