You never forget the first time you pee in your bibs.
To quote Billy Madison, ”Everybody my age pees their pants, it’s the coolest.” As an adult, it’s not really something I thought I would have to do for my job. Yet, here we are.
If you follow the timeline of when riders started peeing in their pants in off-road racing, you’ll inadvertently parallel the saga of gravel racing, maybe even more specifically that of women’s gravel racing.
In 2019, Specialized turned my UCI cyclocross team into some version of a drop-bar, off-road endurance program. Soon after, I raced my first-ever gravel race: BWR San Diego. I showed up the day before on a bike (a Specialized Roubaix) I had never ridden before, and my jersey pockets full of peanut butter & jelly sandwiches with potato chips stuffed in there – you know, for electrolytes. I didn’t have a mechanic, no support crew, no nutrition plan, not even a head unit. I had absolutely no idea how to race for 140 miles, only athleticism, an unwavering competitiveness and the excitement of the unknown but that’s about it. Not to mention the toe spikes I never took off my shoes from Cyclocross Nationals the year before. In these modern times of gravel, 2025, that would never secure the win. But back then, it did.
That first gravel race changed my life. Contracts were signed, plans were made, and racing was on. I signed up for more endurance races that season, one of which was The Leadville 100. I distinctly remember battling for first place with Rose Grant and leapfrogging. We passed each other on the iconic Columbine climb as the other one was off peeing in the woods. It’s a fond memory I will cherish as it’s become a luxury of the past.
We’ve all watched gravel grow from the grassroots, resurrected spirit of American bike racing into a strange yet exciting amalgamation of road, mountain biking and perhaps even some triathlon? The growth has been accelerated in the women’s field as we’ve seen the progression of separate women’s starts and, ultimately, separate races. The pro fields have only gotten faster, some in part due to technology, but a lot of it has been the athletes pushing the envelope.
We have taken advantage of the evolving rulebooks and are doing inventive, albeit often gross, things in the pursuit of speed. Take the high-carb hype for example. In some ways, the amount of sugar we consume is far grosser than the pee problem. Over the span of just four short years, I’ve gone from not knowing what a carb really was to fueling my entire Unbound race on gels and drink mix. Aero equipment is evolving to skinsuits designed to hold hydration bladders, tyres are getting wider, suspension is getting better and lighter, and aid stations seldom see a foot unclip.
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Before you start thinking about trying to become a gravel pro, prepare yourself for these weird but fast things:
- Yep: you’re probably going to have to pee in your chamois. Heed the mantra: “In the top 3, you’ve gotta pee.” Outside of that, well, game day decision.
- You’d better learn to love rice—and lots of it! Get ready to carb load until you’re blue in the face. Skip the fat, skip the fibre, skip the yummy stuff. Your life is plain, beige carbs for two to three days out of the big race. Don’t let this massive food consumption trick you. It may sound like fun, but it sucks.
- Gels on gels on gels. Prep your mind, body and bike to have gel everywhere. These little packs of gooey sugar deliver power to the legs but not without some sticky little fingers…and shifters…and jerseys and mouths and faces. In order not to litter, you’ll be storing these sugary little vessels under your jersey, in your pockets and packs. I’ve had them leak into my shorts, down my legs and into my belly button, even.
- You’re going to want a tiny, little crock pot (or, better yet, a fancy one from Silca), not for your grandma’s brisket, but for your chains. Get ready to get real dorky with chain wax and all of the things that come with this fun little arts-and-crafts project. You can impress your friends with how much you know about wax.
- Hope you like your water with, you guessed it, more sugar. Now I get to quote Men in Black: “sugar in water, more, more”. I also hope you’re ready to have that sticky fuel all over your bike and legs. Every bump, every jostle will help coat your bike in a layer of sticky, salty sugar water. Maybe the pee will wash it off……
- If you’re lucky enough to have the tire clearance for those muddy races, be prepared to risk Giardia. Those puddles sure are fun to race through, but they’re also really good at getting cow poop everywhere. Even if you avoid the tyre spray, your bottles won’t. Make sure to spray and pray before you drink anything.
Bike racers are a unique breed, we quickly forget how to be normal people in this world. When your brain is full from thinking about watts, carbs, sleep and finish lines, it’s harder and harder to remember how to assimilate into the real world. So ahead of Unbound Gravel, the biggest off-road race in the world, wash your bike before someone else helps you with it.
